# 17. Here&Now # 2

Being Present # 2

The goal of Here & Now meditation is to become Present. But what even is true Presence? It would be cool if Santa gave us Presence instead of presents, at least for adults.

Presence is the heartbeat of spirit. Spirit is a real thing. I was lying on a friend’s couch to crash for the night and Maharaj-ji came to me in a magical way. I became Maharaj-ji then, for there was nobody to see me and say I wasn’t, and all I had was a blanket and that was everything. The spirit increased and I saw that just like Maharaj-ji, I was God. That can come off the wrong way, but it’s the first time I’ve been God. I was God because I was in heaven, that’s spirit. True spirit is true presence, is being nakedly vulnerable and yourself in a Universe of Time.

The point of the Be-Here-Now meditation (ask yourself where am I? Answer: Here. When is it? Answer: Now. Repeat until you really feel it) is to find that your presence makes everything more holy, brings spirit out, and spirit is the most miraculous feeling there is. That’s why I was God, was because I was awash in Spirit, and everything was God and most importantly–I Had a blanket!

But it was more than that. Baba was being very playful with my consciousness, very sweet and kind, and here is the cool part of it: I was at the center and beginning of the Universe. It was the first moment of the Universe, the womb of time, I was my Original Face before I was conceived.

That’s what it’s all about, is finding yourself in a place Before Time Existed, before you had concepts of such things as time and place, but rather like being held by the sacred mother when you were a baby, being totally found and made whole, because though everything has changed in that time, the one thing that fundamentally has been true for you every m oment of your life is that you’re in a body and at the same center of it and the moment is Now, so to really hit that home, NOTHING has changed, you find yourself BEFORE TIME and In Yourself.

That’s one face of Zen, is finding yourself before Time was, completely drenched in spirit, in the only place in the Universe: Here. Nothing has ever changed or ever will. You’ll never go anywhere but Here, the time will never be other than Now. This realization brings a great sense of wholeness.

Sometimes, Present Reality isn’t so great. Sometimes it downright sucks. So being Present in it is like making a vow to heal it.
Because that’s really dealing with it. And accept, accept and feel what you feel, letting go of the thoughts to let it pass over you.